Monster Blog Post!

I've been collecting loads and lots to show you and tell you about, but I've been too tired/lazy to like, take them out of my journal and desktop folders labeled To Blog, Future Blog and To Blog 2 and put 'em on the internets. [I just emptied out that last folder and trashed it. To Blog 2 was getting a little excessive.] In an effort to cross some things off my To Do list, here is a blog post full of almost all the things I've been collecting, just for you.

Incredibly creepy clown that looks like a pig--intentionally--and poorly mimes to this horrible mountain circus music on the tourist avenue in Puno. He's frightening and pitiful at the same time. Somebody tell him that the tourists don't like this! Actually...maybe the Europeans do.

One day, as I mentioned on fb, I went to Bolivia. I was surveying in Desaguadero and the loan officer asked me if I wanted to head to Bolivia for a few minutes. I told her I didn't have my passport, and she said it didn't matter. Of course, I trusted her and left Peru, sans passport.(Don't fret, I had a copy.)

Anyways, we walked over a bridge and all of a sudden I was in Bolivia! (Think like going to Mexico border towns ten years ago, before the drug wars got out of control.) We walked through the Bolivian side of Desaguadero and into a parade where there were groups of men and women all dressed alike, in matching colors. It was a little bit like that first part of The Wizard of Oz where the munchkins are all in their groups for the Dorothy parade. (That is not a racist remark. I am referring to their dress, not their shortness. Though these people were also really short.) Anyways, here are just a few pictures of the parade:

When we got to the head of the parade, in the plaza, we asked someone what was going on. The woman said, It's the 21st of July. And we responded, Yeah, it is. But what's the parade about? And Bolivian woman said, It's the 21st of July. And we were like, Yeah, but the parade, we still don't get it. And the woman said, It's Bolivian independence day!

It actually didn't happen like that. I just wanted to exaggerate. At first, she did tell us the date, but then when we looked confused, she told us it was their independence day.

Thanks for visiting Bolivia!

Further proof I didn't make up [most of] this story.

I'm in Peru and Bolivia at once! I'm sooooooo coooooool!

Sometimes even the children here have a hard time taking me seriously. This little girl on the right really wanted to have a photo shoot with her and her sisters and the six-thousand kittens running around their patio. I said yes, and here are the results.

Here is my boat.

My little sister nor that kitten want to be in this picture. That's why I'm physically restraining them.

(Please look at how ticked that kitten is. Hahaha!)

Still mad. Still funny.

Here are a rooster and some kittens begging for scraps of chicharron at my feet.

(Chicharron is fried pork chunks, skin 'n' all. I lol every time I say chicharron now, thanks to Ellen, my friend who came to visit, because one day for lunch we ate a chicharron and two sloppy joes--EACH! What were we thinking??! I blame the salmonella stupor. Anyways, we joked that we had ruined all the hard work we'd done getting salmonella skinny with the dang chicharron. Just say it out loud--chicharron. Anyways, no more chicharron for me. I don't wanna get fat or salmonella skinny.)

This guy, below, was wearing a Longhorns hat. I tried to covertly take a picture of it to prove to everyone that the University of Texas really is the best, most famous university in the whole world. I'm not very sneaky, though, so I just looked like a creep.

Like really looked like a creep--look how incredulous his friend is. So I tried to make it look like I was taking pictures of the scenery, and not the two of them, by taking this photo:

This is a door. It comes to about my ribs. People in Puno use doors like this to get into their stores. Think Emerald City, Oz. (Again, not rude. True.)

A revision of some of my foods in the week prior to getting sick. Could one of these be the culprit??!

Actually, likely not. I think it was either that godawful street empanada or bread that the sweet lady on the bus had given me the Saturday before The Illness struck. Her fingernails were awfully dirty, which is a sign of having not washed one's hands for weeks. Lesson learned, folks: Washing hands is not overrated.

This is a vat of chicken on the floor in the restaurant of one of the Manuela Ramos socias. (Don't worry, I did not eat here.)

A lady with her kid on her back. This is how they do it here. Just wrap up your baby real tight and sling her around onto your back. Take off as needed, like to breastfeed.

A kid chewin' on an orange peel and his pant leg hiked up.

Hey mom, scary yellow hair lady is taking pictures of me. And this orange peel is gettin' a little bit dry.

Another pretty picture:

One Sunday--so far my only Sunday in Puno I haven't been sick--I walked around the city praying that that someone would approach me and say, Hey, do you wanna be my friend? Thankfully, it ended up happening and my friend's name is Max. (He's the one I didn't wanna text for t.p. when I was ill.) Before I found Max, though, I found some substitute friends in an apparently abandoned mall:

This one is the nice one of the group. Just look at that sweet expression she wears. (And the sweet baubles.)

This one is kind of the bruja of the group. She tends to badmouth the other girls.

This is Melania. She's a little bit self-conscious and makes up for it by being a little bit easy and wearing too much makeup. But we love her anyway.

Okay, enough making up crap about the mannequins. Did you ever see that 90s movie with Kim Cattrall Mannequin where, you guessed it, she's a mannequin that comes alive? And falls in love with the guy who designs the windows at night? Yeah, don't see it.

This little drummer boy is confused because it's not Christmas and his clothes are ugly. And because he's wearing a skirt.

Fashions for bald women with shrunken heads

Personally, I think that owning one's baldness is preferable to a toupee, but there are obviously other opinions.

This woman is serious about business and about looking good.

David Bowie? Is that you??

Oh, and when I was still meandering around the city looking for a friend, I found this wall of ads:

and seriously considered about posting an ad for a friend. Perhaps, "Giant 'merican gringa from 'merica seeks Peruvian to talk to, show her around the city, and be amigos. Call 951678990. Ask for Andrea." [Audrey is really hard for people to say, so I often compromise with Andrea.] Thankfully, it didn't come to that.

Found this parrot chillin' on a rooftop. Why was I the only one who found this strange? We live in the high sierra, not the jungle!

I stumbled upon these giant, free slides near the lake in Puno. I wanted to slide down them, but seems how I didn't have a kid with me, I'd just be some giant yellow-haired predator playing on the children's toys :(

Lake Titicaca is mega nasty near the "shore" in Puno. That green stuff ain't grass. It be algae, fool. Oh, and there were some sheep just a' roamin' through the city streets. They had pink paint on their fur to mark them as their owner's, kind of like sheep collars. The only trick is that some sheepnapper could just shave 'em and you'd never know. Oh well, guess they didn't think of that, nor did they ask me for some shepherding pointers. Maybe next time.

And then there were two little lambs chewing on a popsicle stick. I dare you to try to find something more precious than these here photos:

(Why does this lamb's expression look so familiar? Oh yeah, because I also got this look from this guy:

)

And then, less precious, is this drunk guy who, like, fell into the lake or something and had fallen asleep. [Thank God he avoided drowning in the algae.] This is him waking up as I snap paparazzi-style photos of him. (WHY am I so creepy??!) As he crawled out of the reeds I was shouting, Lindsay! Over here! Ms. Lohan! so he'd get the full effect.

A pretty church:

Dude readin' the paper while his dog chills out balls out.

Tigerdog.

Another dreadlocks dog. (This one's for you, mom!) He looked like the Lion from The Wizard of Oz from the front, but my ratty camera didn't turn on fast enough and he sauntered on by. I settled for this picture of his rear instead.

Evidence that I had an entire row to myself, and was in the third row, on my flight from Juliaca (Puno) to Arequipa (where I've been recovering). What luxury! Too bad the flight was only 40 minutes.

And that's all. I hope you enjoyed!

Oh, but I guess on a serious note, off to the doctor tomorrow because my one of my test results weren't ready today. I may or may not have gone outside and cried when they told me I'd have to wait another day. I stopped crying and started laughing instead when I started reading the results I did pick up; it said "Tipo de muestra: HECES" at the top, which means "Sample type: FECES". [I'm 23 years old, by the way.] Anyways, what takes 48 - 72 hours in the USA takes nine days in Peru, so I have to wait another day to get my results. Somewhat unfortunately, they didn't start the analysis until I'd finished antibiotics, so if the antibiotics did their job, we'll likely never know if I had salmonella or salmonella typhi [typhoid fever]. I'm feelin' pretty well (especially comparatively) and am ready to get back to work. Don't want to leave for Puno, though, before I get the all-clear. Fingers crossed!

xoxo and thanks for your prayers [and for reading],

audrey